There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. - Mary Wilson

F-Bombs Away

Posted: October 20th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: | 1 Comment »

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Those of you whom are lucky will come to an important realization:  life is to short to give a fuck what anyone thinks.  “But wait how can anyone be successful in life if they run around like a wild maniac” you ask?  Well I’m here to tell you:

Most people who would be offended by your actions are not actually offended by your actions. What the fuck does that mean?  Your boss doesn’t want you to wear a tie because he likes the look of ties.  He’s worried that other people might prefer the look of a tie on you, but those other people don’t really exist.  No one actually gives a fuck if you wear a tie or not, except perhaps those who are wearing ties that want you to suffer as well.  I say, let your boss be afraid of pissing you off instead being afraid of imaginary people.

Most people are giant flaming vaginas who are more than happy to watch in awe as you actually do what they assume they can not. People’s lives are boring.  They are uninteresting and have no imagination.  Letting go of your fear and taking what you want, doing what you want, is so thoroughly impressive and entertaining, virtually no one will actually question you.

Caring what other people think actually makes people like you less. Telling people about your accomplishments, agreeing with them, supplicating, allowing them to dominate conversations, and generally being nice makes you less interesting.  It lowers your perceived value.  Disagree, talk overly loud, demand what you want, and people will go scurrying to impress you.

Can you imagine yourself 30 tears from now.  Will you say “man I wish I would have spent more time eating shit sandwiches and then I could make a 2% larger bonus and I could have that couch I always wanted.”  No you will say, “Fuck, I’ve wasted my entire life doing pointless meaningless bullshit and no one will remember me 15 years after I’m dead.”

The problem we all have is that our entire lives are spent responding to authority figures.  We have parents, then teachers, then bosses, and finally handlers at the old folks home who tell us what to do, allow us to coast without thinking all our lives.  The path is preordained.  Though all of these people exercise some sort of control over our actions, we have to give it to them.  As soon as you ignore them, you will find that their power is pretty limited.  The most powerful person in your life, usually your boss, can at best stop giving you money every other week.  He and his money can be replaced just as easy as you can.  So he has no more power than you.

The only way to escape is simply to recognize that no ones opinion of you matter’s except your own.  Without finding this truth, you will forever be controlled by other people.

And now a word on shit sandwiches…

If you spend anytime in the business world, particularly in the upper echelons of self-hate called consulting, you will most definitely find that opportunities to eat shit sandwiches are bountiful. In other words, this shit flows like wine. If you dont happen to be familiar with the concept of eating shit sandwiches, perhaps because you work for the government or more likely are still in college, I’ll fill you in. When someone you hate, tells you to do something you don’t want to do, and because of fear for your job, you tell them “Thank you Sir. may I please have another,” you’re eating a shit sandwich.

My favorite type of shit sandwich is the kind where you do something completely wrong or inefficiently because that’s the way you are told to do it. Often doing things the right way just doesn’t seem right because it’s not as painful for one’s minions. Working hard and efficiently all day, eating lunch, and leaving at five sounds like great idea. But in reality you’re better off surfing facebook all day, skipping lunch and staying till 7:00 every night. These are the outward signs of those that are “dedicated.”

Now with some background we can get to the point. Don’t eat shit sandwiches. Life is too short and painful enough without them. Let’s take a look at the worse case scenario. You boss is an ass. You tell him to fuck off. You lose your job. Are you going to starve tomorrow? No. Are you going to die. Yes, but not because you got fired, and probably not very soon.

If you want to have any control over your life, you must stop treating every little problem that arises as though it’s important. You can’t live in fear of the people around you. Sure you should do your best to get the work done, but at the end of the day, nothing you do is really urgent. People probably won’t die, you customers probably won’t notice,


One Comment on “F-Bombs Away”

  1. 1 tommi said at 12:57 pm on December 3rd, 2008:

    best – article – ever – .


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